Monday, 18 June 2012

Whoa Girl! Lift that lead boot!

My granny always used to talk about people driving around with lead boots and it just popped into my head there when i was pondering what i wanted to write about today - funny how that happens, eh? She may be gone but she still talks away to me.......


Anyway, today i just have been thinking about what i am doing at the minute.  I have this idea that i don't ever want to be working for someone else again, that i need to do something that protects me from the nonsense that i have been put through over the past few years and that means working for myself. I have managed to talk myself into working in a self employed role related to the craft side of my life that used to be such a big part of who i was.  I was selling products i made to shops at the age of 17/18 but somehow this disappeared into a 'real' job scenario.


The desire to work for myself has always been a strong one - my family have pretty much all worked for themselves and so the business ethos is no stranger to me......and neither is the hard work associated with that.  As usual i appear to be hurtling towards this goal at breakneck speed - the decision has been made and the ideas just seem to pour out of my brain like a waterfall, so i find it hard to take a slow and steady approach.  Usually however i am able to keep up with my thoughts and manage juggling 10 different thought processes at one time, but i have to admit to struggling with it at the minute.  I keep telling myself to slow down but i honestly don't know how to do it.


I have to find a way to take control of things again though, because i can feel it all drifting away from me.  I have worked so hard to start sorting out my debts over the past few years and yet at the minute its all going a bit pear-shaped.  I am spending money that i can't afford to spend and getting myself into a position where i am not even thinking about what i am doing before i buy something else.  I know i will be able to resell the things i'm buying - thats the whole point of buying it.  I am however having trouble following up the buying with even advertising it for sale though! I can hardly run a business if i don't do the most important part of it - selling things on to make a profit! It amazes me that i have so little restraint at the minute, but i think it may be related to my medication in a way - i have very little restraint in so many different areas of my life i know it is more than just getting a little bit carried away! It is a dangerous combination - excitement, ideas and lack of impulse control = me spending money like its going out of fashion and running about like a headless chicken in the process! I need to lift that lead boot, sit back and take a much more planned approach.........planning has never been a strong point of mine but i know i can do it if i just manage to focus for long enough!! 

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